Service- As Important as the Food
My husband and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. Along with cards, flowers and gifts, there were, of course, restaurant meals. Yes, meals. Any reason to eat out, right?! We had some really great experiences and some not so great. But it was not the food that was off at the not so great meals it was the service. Before I go any further, let me say I was a server for many years and KNOW that it is a difficult job. Also, because I was a server and my husband is currently a Chef, we have a tendency to be very understanding when it comes to service. In other words, it takes a lot for us to feel like a server was truly bad and not just having a bad day. This aforementioned poor service got me thinking about how important service in general is to having a fabulous time dining out. Great food cannot make up for bad service, but great service can totally make up for okay/bad food. Furthermore, bad service can make even the most delicious meal taste sour. That is exactly what happened to my husband and I. Not once, but twice.
The first time we had a less than pleasant time with a server was a week before our anniversary. We had been dying to try this adorable little Italian place for weeks and had been making ourselves crazy reading the rave reviews of the food. So we decided to make a pre-anniversary trip for dinner to see if it was as good as everyone said and if it was, we would dine there on our anniversary. The first tip that things may not go smoothly was when we called to make a reservation. Their website said they opened at one time, but the gentleman on the phone told us that actually they didn’t open until 30 minutes later. Hmmm. We laughed it off and thought the food must be REALLY good for them to get away with opening later. We giddily drove to the restaurant, discussing what we wanted to try from the menu. We sat outside on a cute patio and for the first part of the meal, everything was great. Our waiter was very Italian with a wonderfully thick accent, friendly, knowledgeable and overall very nice. We ordered salads (one of the best Caesar salads I have EVER had!), wood-fired Neapolitan style pizza and herb roasted chicken. We also had a bottle of wine ( they offer 50% off bottles on Sunday, bonus!) and my husband just had to try a glass of the Italian beer. At this point, we were in love with the place and couldn’t wait to come back for our anniversary. When offered dessert, we said, “No.” The server came back with a cannoli for us to share saying, “On the house! Enjoy!” Wow! Perfect evening, right? Wrong. We get the check and I notice that they had charged us full price for the wine. I really thought that maybe the VERY promoted deal was over and thought, “Oh, well.” But my husband grabbed the manager as he was walking by and asked. It was still going on and he took the check to correct it. Our formerly sweet server brought the corrected check back, threw it at my husband and snottily said, “Happy? A free dessert and half-off your wine!” Then he stormed off. My husband and I were agape. Wait a minute here. We did not ask for a free dessert and the restaurant is having a wine promotion. My husband was livid, but I told him to calm down. I paid the check and just got the hell out of there. Did we go back for our anniversary? No. Will we ever go back again? No and that makes me sad because it really was one of the best meals we have had in quite a while, but the way the server treated us simply left a bad taste in our mouths.
The second time this happened was on our anniversary weekend. We had gone to a buffet brunch at a very nice resort that sits right on the bay. Yes, a buffet! And I am happy to report that both my husband and I controlled ourselves. I digress. The views were to die for: white sand, blue bay and sailboats lazily floating across the water. The buffet itself was just okay. Lots of variety, but nothing that knocked my socks off. My husband did love the sushi station and the Ahi sashimi. My memory of the brunch is stellar and I would highly recommend it. Not for the okay food, but for the view and the great service. Our server was attentive, warm, funny and just a pleasure. She MADE the food taste better. We liked her so much that we went back the next day to sit by the bay for their happy hour. Here is when we met bad server number two. She ignored us, rolled her eyes, was surly and generally was just not a very nice person. The happy hour food was very good, better than the brunch and the view was still fabulous, but it wasn’t nearly as enjoyable. Why? Because the server was an unhappy mess.
The funny thing about what we experienced is that I THOUGHT I knew how important service was, but really I didn’t. It was not until I had these meals did it really hit home. It was a good lesson in the importance of service.
Is Service Dead?
I thought I was alone. I thought there was something wrong with ME! I thought a lot of things and then I read Alan Richman’s review of M. Wells in New York City in GQ… And realized it wasn’t me at all. What is it? The decline of service in restaurants. I really had started to develop yet another complex (to go with all my other ones) about the service I was receiving at various restaurants. Time after time, I left restaurants feeling like I had just been waited on by a surly “frenemy”. You know the type. They are everywhere. Eye rolling, sighing servers who act like you are lucky that they brought you the wrong order. But then smile and tell you to, “Come again”, as they drop the check. But apparently this is an epidemic. The service Mr. Richman received at M.Well’s was appalling and dare I say, the new norm. He went on to talk about the poor service he has received elsewhere and that maybe it is a new wave in restaurants. That they are just “too cool to care”. My question is, “Is service dead?”
To answer my own question, I would say, “No.” But it is on life-support and the prognosis is negative. I think that it has become even more important as of late, due to the fact that so many of us don’t go out to eat as much. Blame it on the economy. But if you are like me, I go out to a sit down meal once a week now. I used to go out three times a week. So when I do go out, I want to enjoy myself. I guess service was easier to ignore when I could apply the law of averages. You know, I went out twelve times last month and I got really good service four times. But when you go out four times a month and three out of four times the service is lousy, well, it becomes a problem. Is it the “too cool to care” syndrome? Is it that we have taken “casual” service to the edge of the envelope where it is walking into “couldn’t care less”? I don’t know the reason, but I do know that in this economy, restaurants that want to thrive will pay attention not only to food, but also to service.
So, let me tell you about my most recent run in with a surly “frenemy” server. My husband and I went out to celebrate our second anniversary. We made an early reservation, because, well, we like to eat early. We get hungry! No 7:30 reservations for this couple. No. We are the ones in line with the seventy year old at 4:30 waiting for the doors to open. I keep thinking that when I am seventy, I will finally want to eat after 5:00. So it is early and empty. We are seated and are in a great mood. Why not? Anniversary, beautiful restaurant and the anticipation of food, really, what else do you need. We went to a local Italian restaurant that is very popular. It IS beautiful, but the food leaves much to be desired. But we know this and went for the romance of it. The server greeted us then told us the specials without PRICE! Is it me or is that just rude? Then it took 20n minutes for my husband to get an iced tea. It just gets worse from there. We asked for more bread three times. Finally had to flag down the bus boy to get it. Left ALL the inedible appetizer we ordered. Server removed it and actually said, ” Aren’t these just fabulous?” Ummm, huh? I ordered a second glass of wine and the server poured the remainder of my first into it! Wow! He never checked back on entrees and then while removing my full plate of food (it was that bad), said “Aren’t these mushrooms just to die for?” Then I couldn’t take it and told him, “No. They weren’t to die for. They tasted like lighter fluid.” He actually recoiled from me. Long story short. We paid $90.00 for the meal, without the entree and I STILL tipped him $20. Why? Do I want the server to “like” me?
The next weekend we went to another popular local place. Yes at 5:00. But it was packed! The hostess seated us immediately, even though we had no reservations. The server greeted us nicely and promptly. Brought me all the bread I wanted and checked back during every part of the meal. The place is also beautiful and the food just alright. I would say about even with our anniversary disaster meal. But guess what? EVERYTHING seemed to taste better because we were happy and receiving good service. That, restaurant owners, is what you need to know. Service definitely affects everything. From how pretty the place is to how good the food tastes. You can have the most beautiful restaurant in the world, with the best tasting food (at unbelievably low prices), but if you also have lousy service, it will all be ruined. I’m not talking about chilled salad forks and stuffy service. I mean servers that give a damn. And guess what? If the owners don’t care, neither will the servers.
So, there you have it. Service counts and it is on its way to an untimely death thanks to poor management and untrained, unsupervised staff. It is also up to patrons to let management know the good and the bad. I am guilty of leaving a good tip AND not telling the management when we have lousy service. Which happens more times than even okay service. Why? Because I was a server for many years. A good one. I cared, knew the menu and sincerely wanted my guests to have a fabulous dining experience. So, it has forever left me giving the benefit of the doubt, even when it is not warranted. You know, maybe he is tired… Or maybe her boyfriend broke up with her… Not that either thing is an excuse. If you can’t leave it at home, then don’t come in. But, I am a softy when it comes to servers and try to be the guests I always liked when I was serving. Patient, understanding, nice and a good tipper. Okay. So, here I am the good guest. Now all that is missing is the good service.
So, let’s breathe some life into these non-nonchalant, clueless, surly servers stat. Because if we don’t and service dies, then so does the restaurant business.
Restaurant Wars-The Real Deal
For once I am not referencing a reality television show… I am talking about the REAL restaurant wars. The ones that go on, unsaid between diners and servers. First let me say that I worked my way through college and beyond in restaurants. I have been a server, a take-out person, bartender, cocktail waitress and catered. So, I have been THERE. And anybody who reads my blog knows I LOVE to go out to eat. So I am writing this from both sides of the coin.
First from a servers perspective. Most servers WANT to give you the best possible service. They want you to enjoy yourself, have a great meal and leave happy. But there are some things that are out of a servers control. I will probably miss a few things, but here is the list: the design of the restaurant, the noise level of the restaurant, the Chef, the kitchen, the staffing, the prices and the food. The server can do their absolute best to make sure your order comes out as you wish, but because they aren’t cooking it, there is only so much they can do and/or control. So please don’t punish your server if you are unhappy with the food. But really, the most important thing, I think, is that you tip a server for their SERVICE. Were they attentive? Did they genuinely care? Were they timely? This is what you base the tip on… Not if the restaurant was too cold or noisy. I know it seems simple, but you wouldn’t believe how many times my tip suffered because a guest was too cold or couldn’t hear.
Now, as a diner. As you can see, I KNOW what a server can and can’t control. But let me share some of my pet peeves as a diner with all those servers out there… First, smile. As harsh as it sounds, I don’t care if you had a bad day, lost your dog or broke up with your significant other. I am out to eat to enjoy myself. If you are that upset, stay home. Check back promptly after delivering food and if you see I am not eating a dish, find out why and try to rectify it… This part of the food IS in your control. If you don’t know the answer to a food or wine question, go ask somebody that does, don’t lie. People have food allergies, you don’t want to lie and then get somebody sick. This is my pet peeve, don’t be too personal with the table. Friendly, yes. All the details of your life? No. I am out to eat with the person I want to talk to, don’t monopolize and hover a table. Don’t deliver the check, unless I ask, while I am still eating my entree. And always offer dessert. That’s it, really. And guess what, I will always tip on service alone, not on all the other stuff. I know it is not your fault.
One final word. TIP! Don’t try to save money by scrimping on the tip. It isn’t right. Servers work very hard and earn every penny. Plus, they have to tip out bus boys etc. on their SALES. So when you under tip them, they take the fall. TIP WELL. This means 20% + for good service. I do believe tipping is Karmic. It really does come back to you, the good and the bad. Now, go out to eat and enjoy!
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