It’s time we all came clean. We ALL secretly eat. And we all have things we eat that are our guilty pleasures. Things we would be mortified if others knew about… Today, I am coming clean. My name is foodwinejunke and I am a secret eater.

So, here it is, almost nightly, after my husband falls asleep, I make my way to the kitchen.  Usually it is around three in the morning and by the light of the open refrigerator,I make my “snack”.  Most nights it is three corn tortillas with shredded mozzarella cheese put in the microwave for 30 seconds.  Then I top them with either real mayonnaise or sour cream and Tapatio hot sauce.  I take my food back to bed with me and ever so gently get in beside my husband.  I happily eat the three mini-quesadillas while watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch (remember, 3 a.m., options limited).  Wow, I suddenly feel much lighter for confessing! Here is the thing though, when I am sleeping, my husband also eats. He is less ritualistic, but he eats nonetheless. How do I know? He leaves a trail of cheese wrappers, empty bread bags & mayonnaise coated knives in the kitchen.  I was very comforted when I found this evidence of nocturnal noshing. Oh, I thought, we ARE meant for each other!

As for guilty pleasures, it is time for self-proclaimed foodies to get off their high culinary horse and admit that they too like a grilled American cheese sandwich on Wonder bread! Or a mayonnaise sandwich with Nacho Cheese Doritos. Mine? Velveeta. I tend to be a cheese snob, but I like nothing better than a Velveeta sandwich on sourdough bread with too much mayo, sweet gherkins, lettuce and tomato. Ruffles potato chips on the side. Also, LOVE Del Taco.  My husband shares my secret love of Velveeta, but also will sneak in a fried Oscar Mayer bologna sandwich in too.  We aren’t the only ones. I have a girlfriend that confessed to me that she loves to eat saltine crackers smeared with mayonnaise. She eats them one after another, right from the sleeve until they are all gone. I say, Yes!  Another friend likes to eat an entire Duncan Hines chocolate frosting out of the can with her fingers. Yet another, will eat fruit cocktail from the can, while squirting Reddi-Whip on it.  Finally, is the friend that loves VERY cheap frozen pizza with you guessed it mayonnaise on top!

Is this wrong? NO! Can you love these foods and still appreciate the subtle nuances in a well-prepared dish? YES! Furthermore, do we all have our secret eating rituals, that not only nourish us, but also comfort us? I hope so.  Because most of the secret eating and guilty pleasures are rooted in our childhood and associated with warm memories.  So confess, it will do you good.

I have to go, I want to be alone with my Velveeta sandwich now.