Okay, one last journey down my emotional food lane and then I promise I will get back to expounding on the joys of fried foods and big red wines!  My mother had Alzheimer’s and passed away two years ago. I helped my Father take care of her for four years. Bathing, dressing, Doctor visits and of course, feeding her.  I am not going to say it was easy, but those last years I spent with my Mother were some of the most important and meaningful of my life. I learned patience, compassion and how to find humor in the bleakest of moments. Where’s the food? You are asking yourself right about now… Here it comes.

My mother’s tastes changed drastically when she had Alzheimer’s. Things she once hated she loved and things she once loved, she hated. AND this list was ever rotating and changing, so it became a game of,  “What will mom eat today?”  Also, as the disease progressed, she had more and more trouble using silverware. At the end it was only a spoon she could handle and we put her food in a deep bowl to make it easier.  Through all the changes there were some things she ALWAYS liked.  I would make a Spanish rice that she couldn’t get enough of and when I would come over to make it, she would clap.  She also never got tired of bread and red wine (I am my mother’s daughter!).  But we also took her out to eat, until the very end, because she loved it so much, that is where the funniest moments happened.

We once took her to a fancy bar.  It was crowded and there was live music. Now this was during her “glasses” phase. For a few months, she had to have EVERY pair of sunglasses & reading glasses (although she had long lost the ability to read) she owned with her at all times. Really, all the time. Sleeping, eating, watching TV, even had to keep her eye on them while we bathed her.  At home she would arrange them around her plate as she ate and touch or hold one pair or the other between bites.  So as we sat down in the bar, she was juggling no less than six pairs of glasses. Well we ordered drinks and appetizers and they were placed on the tiny tables in front of us. Dad tried to get her to give him or myself the glasses, but no way. So, we gave up and started eating. A few minutes later I looked over to see my mother dip pair after pair of glasses into the salsa in front of her. Put it to her mouth, realize it wasn’t a chip, transfer said glasses to other hand or lap and try again with another pair. Well, needless to say, she was covered in salsa and frankly, quite upset because she REALLY wanted a chip. People were staring. My dad was trying to wipe her with napkins, which was very difficult considering she still was clutching all the salsa covered glasses! That is when it happened. I started to laugh. Then my dad. Then my mom.  I have so many of these restaurant stories… The time she wouldn’t remove her sunglasses in a dimly lit fancy Italian restaurant and literally couldn’t see her food, so she kept trying to “Eat” the table! The time she followed a server into the kitchen as we were being shown to our table in a Mexican restaurant. Then once seated proceeded to throw chips at me, throw her napkin at my dad and tell us she hated cheese enchiladas and wasn’t going to eat them. We ate our food. Let her throw chips & laughed.  When we had to wait to be seated at a Pizza place (she HATED to wait) and she sat in the lobby sticking out her tongue at anybody that looked at her.  Finally, the time we took her to lunch at a VERY crowded tourist spot and I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. We ordered her a hamburger, but when the food came down, she wanted the grilled cheese. We switched and I gleefully watched my mother eat every bit of the grilled cheese and french fries, humming, talking to herself and showing her grilled cheese to everybody that walked by our table. With Alzheimer’s you can’t forget to laugh.

It really is no surprise that many of my fondest memories of my mother during this time are centered around food. Our mother’s are the first to feed us and they shape our food history. What we like. What we don’t like. Even how we connect food to our emotions.  I miss my mother, but I will always have these memories and her famous roasted chicken recipe to remember her… And, really, when was the last time somebody clapped for you when you cooked them dinner? I think that tonight I will do just that as my husband serves us!