My name is Tracy and I am an obsessive compulsive vicarious eater.  Whew! I feel better! Yes, that is right, I have an insatiable appetite (pun intended) to know what everybody is eating.  Not only what they are eating, but how it tastes, smells and any other details I can pry out of them.  I drive my friends and family crazy with my questions.  “Where did you have lunch?” What did you order?” “Was it good?” “Would you order it again?”  I have to know EVERYTHING.  Was it creamy, salty, fatty, cheesy, flavorful?  And on and on until the poor person finally screams, “That is all I can say!”

I was always fascinated with all things food. When I was young,  I would sit on the kitchen floor every night and watch my Mother prepare dinner.  Asking about EVERYTHING she did.  As I grew older, my friends became my target.  When other girls were talking about Bonne Bell lip gloss flavors, I was asking my friends about what was in their lunch box and bugging them relentlessly until they either told me or ran screaming from me.  Other girls collected pins and photos.  I hoarded take-out menus.  At night I would go to my stash and read (for the hundredth time) my menus, imagining how each dish would taste.

When I went to college I continued hoarding menus, but after too many, “What is wrong with her?” looks I tried to keep my vicarious eating under control.  I even brought this obsession into the work place.  My co-workers became accustomed to my never-ending questions about their breakfasts, lunches and dinners out.  But every once in a while a new person would be hired… Once a co-worker was describing in detail the burger he had for lunch to me and this new person said, completely exasperated, “It was a burger for God’s sake!”  We all flinched and the burger boy said, “Oh. I don’t mind.  We all tell Tracy what we eat.”  Oh boy! Was I embarrassed? Yes.  Did it stop me? Hell no.

So, after years of dating non-vicarious eaters I finally found my vicarious eating soul mate.  My husband will spend thirty minutes telling me about the bagel he had for breakfast.  Spend an hour describing the just perfect roast beef sandwich he had for lunch.  It is heaven!  We pause almost every program we watch to try to figure out what they are eating.  Forget the dialogue, we want to know what is in that soup and if it is too salty.  We comment endlessly about restaurant commercials and the food they are hawking.  Would we want to eat it?  Did we see bacon in the macaroni & cheese? Etc.  And, of course, we watch way too much food TV.  Food Network, Cooking Channel, Bravo, Travel Channel and TLC.  If it is about food, count us in!  We will even watch a show one night and still be talking about the food on said show a week later! Like I said, he is my soul mate.

I now realize that I am not alone.  There are thousands of vicarious eaters out there.  Really it is our time.  Think about it.  Food blogs, food porn, food TV, celebrity Chefs, etc.  We can get our food fix any time of day and from so many different venues.  Still, for me, there is nothing like a good one on one recount of a recent meal.  A friend of mine recently went to one of my favorite restaurants (Quince in Jerome, AZ) and I was giddy with the thought of hearing the re-play of her dinner!  And, even better, we could compare notes.  So when she jokingly asked, “Should I video tape it?”  I secretly wanted to say, “If you don’t mind.”  But I controlled myself.  She came through with quite a nice recap of the dinner (even without the video) and patiently answered my many questions.

I say, vicarious eaters of the world unite! I know you are out there… Browsing food blogs, reading restaurant reviews, drooling over Anne Burrell’s latest pasta dish and asking your friends what they ate over the weekend.  It is okay.  You are not alone.  So, really, tell me what you are eating! I would LOVE to hear.  And because turnabout is fair play, here is what I ate Friday night.  I had a couple of slices of N.Y. style pizza. Cheese only.  The sauce was nice and they used the right amount.  Not too much cheese and the crust had a nice chew.  I put granulated garlic, crushed red pepper and Parmesan cheese on the slice.  I ate it with a simple salad of romaine lettuce, heirloom tomato, black olives and a red wine vinegar dressing.  My drink?  A  2008 McManis Zinfandel.  I highly recommend this wine.  Forward fruit, balanced finish and just perfect with the garlic on the pizza.

Now, what are you eating?!