So last night, hubby and I got into an hour long discussion about mayonnaise. Seems hard to believe, I know, but when you are a household of two food obsessed people, it is fairly easy. We once waxed poetic about roasted garlic for two days. It all started as I was fixing a snack in the kitchen and hubby was leaning over the counter to watch, as he always does. Just as an aside, hubby is a bit of a vicarious eater. My snack was slices of Swiss cheese on good Jewish rye with heirloom tomato slices and, you guessed it, mayonnaise. As I was making my snack, hubby came around the counter and started dipping celery stalks into the mayonnaise jar. That was when I said, “I REALLY love mayonnaise!” He answered, “Hmm. Garble. Garble.”, while nodding his head (his mouth was full of mayonnaise covered celery at the time). I then upped the mayonnaise ante by getting some leftover roasted red bliss potatoes I had made the night before. I roasted them with olive oil, thyme, garlic, salt & pepper. They were very good. I then took the roasted potato quarters and slathered them with mayonnaise. Let me stop here and just tell you if you ever get a chance to try this, do. It is completely decadent and is akin to an over the top potato salad. We oohed and aahed as we ate the potatoes. And again I said, “Mayonnaise is so good!” We then went on to discuss store-bought brands, home-made aiolis and even Miracle Whip. We also talked about how some people (gasp!) don’t like mayonnaise?! This got me thinking about my long love affair with mayonnaise…
It all started when I was a child. I grew up in a mayonnaise home. I say that because many of my friends had Miracle Whip, which at the time made me jealous because they could eat it and I couldn’t. Why? My Mother looked down on Miracle whip. She saw it as mayonnaise’s red-haired step child. And if I asked for it while we were shopping, she would say, with a very haughty tone, “We don’t eat THAT.” End of discussion. So mayonnaise it was. And it was on EVERYTHING. I now think it was my Mother’s little helper. She put it in vegetables, casseroles, we topped our salads with it (I didn’t even know there was such a thing as salad dressing until I was seven & my Mom brought home Good Seasons Italian with the shaker cruet), put it on ALL sandwiches and even put it on our pizza. Yes, pizza. I didn’t know other people didn’t do this until I went to a pizza party and asked for the mayonnaise. The cries of “gross” and “weird” from my friends kept me from ever making that mistake again! But I still do like mayonnaise on my pizza when in the privacy of my own home. So, as a child I was raised on mayonnaise.
As a teen I started dieting and deemed mayonnaise off-limits. Which of course, only made me want it more. I tried to substitute those awful fat-free and light mayos, but lets face it, they don’t cut it. The fat-free is simply awful. It is more science experiment than food. And the low-fat, while slightly better has to me an odd aftertaste. The irony? I discovered Miracle Whip has less fat than mayonnaise and started eating that! Though the slightly sweet flavor, like it had sweet pickle relish juice added to it, always disturbed me. But at the time, it was better than the alternatives.
After years of avoiding ‘real” mayonnaise at all costs, I finally came back. I was in my twenties and working at a fine dining restaurant. One day the Chef came out with the nights special. It had this wonderful magical sauce with it. Creamy, garlic flavored and absolutely fabulous. So I ran to him and asked, “What is that sauce?” “Garlic aioli,” he replied. Remember, I was just starting my culinary education at this point and waited to get home to look up aioli. Much to my surprise, it was mayonnaise! That did it. I went the next day and bought a jar of real mayonnaise and have had one in my fridge ever since. The crazy part, to me at least, was I didn’t balloon up to 300 pounds as I had imagined. My weight didn’t change one bit. But my meals sure did improve! No longer was potato salad, deviled eggs and cole slaw off-limits! I could once again get mayonnaise on my sandwiches. And if a dish mentioned aioli on a menu, I ordered it.
Now, here I am, older and still my love affair with mayonnaise continues. I can’t imagine a life without mayonnaise, garlic aioli, creamy mayonnaise based salad dressings, etc. Sounds dramatic, I know. But, as they say (whoever “they” are) it is the little things in life. I also know that if my husband weren’t as passionate about mayonnaise as I am, we would have an issue. I mean really, how do you trust a man who doesn’t love mayonnaise?
I will leave you with a couple of things… About ten years ago, my sister’s boyfriend at the time, hated mayonnaise. I, of course, started arguing with him about all the wondrous things mayonnaise could do.. He then told me about a late night infomercial he saw for a hand-held mixer. They made mayonnaise and it was four cups of oil and an egg. That’s it. After recounting this he asked, “So now what do you think about mayonnaise?” I smiled and told him, “It is the oil that makes it good!” I did think to myself at the time, that they could have really improved the flavor with just a little lemon. Or even made a garlic aioli by adding some garlic. But I didn’t tell him. What was the point? He obviously didn’t understand mayonnaise!
Here is my P.S. A great recipe using mayonnaise that is perfect for entertaining. They are called onion puffs and trust me, they are to die for…
Finely grate one medium sweet or white onion
Add to the onion, 2 cups of mayonnaise and 1 cup of Parmesan cheese
Place mixture in fridge covered
Using a small (about 1 inch diameter) biscuit cutter, cut rounds from a loaf of cheap white bread. Just no crusts.
Toast the rounds on a baking sheet until lightly browned on both sides.
Using a small spoon or a pastry bag, top toasted rounds with a mound of the mixture. This can be done a head of time and kept in the fridge.
IMMMEDIATELY before serving, place topped rounds under broiler. Mixture will puff up and get slightly tan. Remove and serve right away.
These are so good with champagne and trust me, your guests will never guess the magic ingredient mayonnaise!
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